My last post raised an interesting point I think we should discuss. I want to say that discussion in the blog is always encouraged. I love to hear different points of view...maybe I will agree, maybe I won't. I will always respect your views and you opinions and ask that you respect mine. OK My good friend/cousin Holli left this comment on Monday's post....
Oh, definitely needed to hear this one. I'll admit to being one really screwy, really rebellious teen. I won't ever forget that part of my past because of the beauty that grew out of those cracks in my enamel. I'm STILL not perfect. But, here's my question for the panel... Is it EVER okay to judge? Not in a "you're going to hell, ha ha" kinda way but in a "I don't want you to be a part of my life because you don't make healthy choices" kinda way ???? Ah, I don't know... Tough call.
By the way, Kim, is one of your "little" mistakes a reference to inspiring me drink that nail polish remover when I was prob. 3? Because I've totally forgiven you for that! :) Lol, JK. But, do you remember that? The thought made me laugh!
We can talk about that last paragraph another time...Thank you for your forgiveness Holli! I do think about that time...often, actually!
Back on track people! What I want to discuss is this...
"But, here's my question for the panel... Is it EVER okay to judge? Not in a "you're going to hell, ha ha" kinda way but in a "I don't want you to be a part of my life because you don't make healthy choices" kinda way ???? Ah, I don't know... Tough call."
I totally get what you are sayin' here. I don't consider this to be judgment. This you making a choice to surround yourself with people that have similar standards as you. I know someone that is pretty "perfect"...by their standards anyway. Said person can't lower their standards to associate with people with a "past"...When I say past I need you to hear it as if were Dolly saying it in Steel Magnolias. Anyway, this is what I have a problem with. Because I am weak I try to surround myself with the strong to help me keep on track. People’s bad behavior can still influence us in a negative way...just as if we were young and rebellious teens again. You shouldn't wave a cigarette in front of a new non-smoker...so also if we have an issue with something we should steer clear of those things and that includes people that do those things. This isn't you passing judgment. It is you being smart.
Let's face it...there are people in this world that we just don't like. Candy, my wise mother, would say "Bless their heart" and move on. We are not commanded to get along with everyone or agree with everyone...thank goodness. I think the key is having an understanding heart and not being hypocritical. I believe that is where the difference lies.
7 comments:
Okay, truth time. I am a total judgement gal. I try really hard NOT to judge but I still do. I however, am not hypocritical. I hold myself to the same standards I expect everyone else to live up to.
I have chosen to remove people from my life due to their bad (in my opinion) life choices. There are things that I just do not want brought into my world. I don't think that is bad. It is life.
I totally needed to read this post today because I am struggling with this right now. I, in general, try to not pass judgment and try to give everyone a chance. Often times this one chance turns into many and I somehow get pulled under and have to find a way to climb out of a hole before it gets too deep that it is impossible.
My problem is, the person I am struggling with is related to me...I'm not talking long distance down the road related, this is immediate family. I try and try to understand and be nice and get a long but after so long I just have to wonder if separation from this person is just what is needed. I have been able to limit contact a little but I suppose it is not enough. I hate being rude (hence I try not to judge) and I try to throw the smile on and just make it through until I make it.
I think that cutting someone unhealthy for you out of your life isn't necessarily judging them. I feel that judging someone is something you do with a mean spirit when you don't necessarily know the person very well. Sometimes you need to leave things behind, especially if they are harmful for you. People and their behavior included. I actually think you need to be really strong to cut a friend or someone close out.. not an easy thing to do.
Personally, I try not to judge, but I'm aware that this is something we do on a daily basis, almost unconsciously. I think sometimes it's necessary to make judgments when it is for either the person's best or your own best (as in it's healthier to cut them out of your life), but judging just to make yourself feel better or for any other selfish/negative reason is never a good thing.
I love all of these comments!!! This is exactly what I was trying to say...I agree with all of you. Sometimes we need to make judgement calls to protect ourselves However, I do believe that there are times when forgiveness and understanding are in order. Thanks Ladies!!
I love all the comments. I actually questioned a very wise man about this topic awhile ago and he reminded me that we are REQUIRED to judge all the time. When we turn on the tv, we judge if the program is good or bad for us. When we turn on our computer, we judge if we are going to go to good sites or bad sites. When we eat a meal, we judge if we will make a healthy choice or an unhealthy choice. And, when we meet someone or have someone in our lives, we have to constantly judge whether that person is helping us be better people or holding us back negatively. It's not that we're casting that person to hell or shutting that door forever. But, just as we decide what we consume, we have to decide what human influences we'll allow in our lives.
Actually, if we never judged, then we'd all be stuck with our very first boyfriend, never making the judgement to break up with them. Eeeehh... when you put it like that... very scary thought.
Wow, this is a deep and thoughtful discussion. Thank you all for your input, it gives me a lot to think about. Judge others, but don't hate or look down on those you judge no matter how they wronged you. Selfish pride is one of the most dangerous sins. (at least that's my opinion). Have a great day y'all, and again thank you for all the comments, I'm glad Kim has friends like you.
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