Letters…

Hi. There were a few things that I have wanted to say out loud recently and…Well I couldn't. So I am telling you as a release and to get some laughs! Enjoy!

 

 

Dear Sick lady at my Doctor's office, 

 

Thank you so much for open mouth coughing all over me. Do you watch the news?? Did your mother not teach you any manners? Do you not see the evil looks I am giving you? Seriously. This isn't how I normally look. I typically like to wear a smile. I will verbally tell you to cover your mouth if you don't take my hint. I hope that you get well soon...so that you will no longer be able to recklessly endanger the health of others. Do not look at me funny because I am dousing myself in hand sanitizer. I am only trying to protect myself from you. Did I hear my name being called??? Hallelujah!!

 

Sincerely,

Lady trying NOT to get the Swine flu

 

 

Dear Man that leans over my desk to talk to me,

 

Hi. This high counter that I sit behind is here for a reason. It is to create a barrier, a shield, if you will. The area behind the desk is MINE. Not yours. MINE. When you lean over the desk, you are invading my space. When I can list all the ingredients from the last meal you had...you are TOO close to me. Please respect my space that is obviously marked by this big, tall, granite counter top. I promise that I will still be able to hear you. You do not need to see what is on my computer screen. That is in my space...therefore, my business not yours. I'm sure you do this to the lady at the bank and I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that she doesn't like either. Just pretend that the counter extends all the way to the ceiling or perhaps that there might be a glass there.

 

Thanks,

Person that likes her space

 

 

The person that decided to fry and heavily salt potatoes,

 

I think you are great. 

 

Thank You,

Lover of French Fries

 

 

Intoxicated man behind me in line,

Really. Are you being serious right now? Do you realize that you have yet to utter a complete thought? Your poor girlfriend is only trying to save you from further embarrassment and instead of listening to her you publicly demean her. You are rude.

Regretfully,

Person getting a headache from your stench and loud mouth

P.S. That girlfriend of yours is too good for you and she will probably realize it one day.

 

Poor Girl that is apparently dating intoxicated man,

Why? You are pretty. You seem sweet. You are clearly bothered by his behavior. I know this is NONE of my business (hence the reason for not saying this to you) but you don't have a ring on your finger. So…what's the hold up? Do you think that he will change?? Maybe he will. Maybe you love him and maybe he is a real gem sans the 24 corona in his system. Maybe not. You are young…too young to be dealing with this. You should NEVER EVER let anyone talk to you the way that (insert expletive) did. You should feel loved and special. I wish you all the best and hope that life gets better for you.

-Concerned bystander

 

Will,

Thanks for not being a drunken loser.

Love Ya,

Kim

 

Dear Blog Buddies

You are fantastic. You are funny. Your children are precious. I love your opinions on books, T.V. and movies. I love keeping up with you even though we are so far apart now. I love getting to know you since we are new friends. I love reading about all of your adventures. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and stories. I laugh till I cry and sometimes cry till I laugh while I'm reading. Thank you for commenting on my blog. Thank you for the emails, texts, tweets, calls and facebook messages that were full of support. Thank you and I love you!

Love,

Kimberly