Pregnancy is hard.

I have been so very blessed during this pregnancy.
I really shouldn't complain.
There are people that have to endure so much worse.
A few check ups ago, my doctor asked if I had any complaints. I said no, just like I told the nurse who checked me in. Just like I do every visit because every symptom I have is a normal part of pregnancy. So why complain.
He sat down (which he never does) and said, "I don't believe that you have gone 32 weeks and can't think of one complaint. Come on girl...give me something.".
{Open Flood Gates}
Well, I can't sleep and my back and hips hurt sometimes.
The easiest tasks are exhausting.
I get out of breath so fast.
I think all of my weight gain is in my boobs...they are so heavy.
{and bring on the tears}
I worry constantly about my baby.
Is she kicking enough?
Will she be healthy?
What if something happens to her?
He laughed and assured me that that is exactly how I should be feeling.
He told me that he wants to know those things and that I don't have to wait for something major to be wrong to complain.
He told me that pregnancy was hard...even a healthy pregnancy like mine comes with heartaches and complaints.
He is right. Just because I have come this far and are complication free doesn't mean I have to suppress my feelings. This has been amazing but it has been and is really hard. I keep telling myself that I shouldn't complain because it is so much harder for other women. And this is what I wanted...so I should only be grateful. Well...I can be grateful and whiny all at the same time.
Lesson for today: Don't compare your life to anyone eles'. Just feel what you feel.


**UPDATE**

This was written a couple of weeks ago and I never published it. No idea why...I just hit "save" and moved on.  Anyway, I do have a complication now. Gestational Diabetes. I know it isn't the end of the world and I am lucky that I only have a few weeks left but its still hard.  I have a strict diet to follow and must check my blood sugar 4 times a day. That isn't the hard part. The hard part is that it was out of my control. I thought I was doing everything I could to keep my baby safe {eating healthy and lots of exercise...way more than before I was pregnant}.  I know that she will be fine and so will I...it was just a hard pill to swallow.  That is all on the subject for now...will report back when this all settles in.

Revisiting the Mail Bag

I used to LOVE letter posts. I haven't done one in fa-evah.  You can see my previous ones here, here and here!

Dear Baby Daddy,
There are no words to express the love that I have for you right now. You have been so incredibly supportive during this pregnancy. Thank you so much for all of your hard work. You put in a full day (sometimes a double) then you come home and lay trim or paint a room. I'm sure that there are times that you feel that you are working around the clock and you kinda are. Know that all that work is appreciated! The house is looking GREAT and the nursery is perfect! You are going to be a great Daddy and I can't wait have this baby and love and raise her with you.
PS...thanks for the foot/back rubs. Keep 'em coming! :)

Love,
Your Baby Mama

Dear Family,
Y'all are good people. No, y'all are GREAT people. From supporting and loving us (and visiting me many times) while we were away to being here for us now, you guys are amazing! Ripping down wallpaper (all 4 layers) and endless painting helped us so very much. Not only have y'all supported us physically but you guys are really THERE for us. I try to be a big girl about this pregnancy thing and I try not to wear everyone out by talking about it too much. I don't try very hard with the you guys. I complain sometimes and share every weird little symptom! But y'all never tell me that y'all are tired of hearing about what the baby is doing now, or that you guys would rather not know that my boobs are leaking (yeah...that happens. No one told me either.). Y'all just roll with it. I am fairly certain that it is all genuine and if its not you people are great actors.  I also love how much all of you love this baby.  You are all so excited for her arrival and that just warms my heart. The Aunts (Great Aunts too), Grandmas, Grandpas and cousins have already showered her with some gifts. I love all of you!

Love,
Kimmie and Will

Baby Willberly,
We are so excited for you to get here. Just don't be trying to bust out early. Excited yes...ready no.  Plus...the longer you stay put the healthier you will be! If you MUST come early just wait till after the baby shower. (We will, of course be happy whenever she comes :) Also, you keep kicking. I love it. Even in the middle of the night. It eases my worry about you (and girl, do I worry...). However, if you could steer clear of my bladder that would be fabulous. I know that I am probably going to get really uncomfortable soon.  I might say less about how much I love being pregnant and get a little more complainy.  Please know that no matter how bad this gets...I'm happy to be carrying you. No matter how hard labor and delivery may be I know that it is worth it.  I wanted nothing more than to be pregnant so there will be no regrets. Though, if you could make sure and stay head down and not go too much over 7 pounds, I would soooo appreciate that. See you in 7ish weeks.

Love,
Mama

Reba,
You are the bestest puppy ever! You do have gas that could literally knock people out but can ignore that because you are so darn sweet. Thank you for being my napping buddy and knowing when I really need you to be lazy with me. I love it when you lick my toes...ok I hate but if you stopped I am pretty certain that I would miss it too much.  Please continue to be a good puppy so that we can keep you after the baby comes. I have dreams of you 2 being great friends!

Love,
Your Human Mama

That is all for now but I have so many more to share...stay tuned!

Calling all Mommies...Again: The Hospital Bag

So I am starting to think about my hospital bag...
It is hard for me to even say that.
Could I really be to this point already.
Packing my hospital bag.
It just sounds absurd.
Anyway, I am 8 weeks (single digits...whaaat?) away from my due date so I thought that I should start gathering up all the things that I might need.

What was in your bag?
Did you really need everything you brought?
What did you wish that you had/or left at home?

I have looked at some checklist online and in some of the books that I have read and it seems like some of them are over doing it.  I was thinking of taking my small weekender bag and from the looks of some of these lists I need a large suit case. I mean...if I need it I will bring it. I just don't want to over pack. I tend to do that. I know Will needs things to and that we need a few things for the baby.

Anyway...

Y'all hooked me up with some great advice before so I thought I would turn to you guys again!

Belly Photos (30 Weeks)

OK. People have asked and I am FINALLY giving in.

Presenting the Self Take Pregnancy Photo Shoot

30 Weeks

Team Willberly!

I have to admit...I kinda love my bump! 

Pregnancy Week By Week: First Trimester

I have been keeping little notes about this pregnancy and I decided that I wanted to share them here!

When I found out that we were pregnant I had ZERO symptoms! I attribute this to the fact that I believed that there was no way that I could be pregnant, ya know, some women are looking for the early signs and I just wasn't. Anyway, I haven't had all the classic symptoms but some have come to the party!

Week 5  Late period and positive pregnancy test on Sunday, July 31st. We were completely surprised! Read our story here!

Week 6-7 Happily pregnant! No morning sickness but I did notice a heighten sense of smell. I was constantly saying, "Ewe, what's that smell?" or "Oh! What smells so good!". 

Week 8-10 {Enter Morning Sickness Here} It was a difficult couple of weeks and this is about the time that we started staying in our new house but without furniture and we were working a lot. It wasn't an easy time but certainly not unmanageable.  It usually passed by 1 or 2pm so I didn't even lose the entire day.  One other usual suspect showed up...breast tenderness. They were pretty sore and felt like the weighed 10lbs each! But...they looked great so it wasn't all bad!

Week 11-13 Rocking right a long! Anxious for our first doctor's appointment...which was in week 13! The nurse had some trouble finding the heartbeat which was so very scary.  They did an ultrasound right away and found that our baby was fine. That was the most amazing moment. Things got very real very fast. Seeing that squirmy image on the screen changed us both...in a good way. Symptom wise, other than being sleepy (yay for naps!) and having sore boobs I had no complaints!

Also this trimester...I lost some weight which was great! I have struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember and to hear that my weight loss was not only perfectly normal, but healthy as well, was great news! We started sharing the news after the doctor's appointment and everyone was/is very excited! One thing about my family...we love us some babies!! 

What's in a name?

Apparently a lot.
Have you picked out a name for the baby yet?
This is pretty much the only thing anyone asks us...which is totally understandable.
However, we are not sharing Baby Girl's name till her birthday.
At first we weren't even going to settle on one until we saw her but as it turns out my friend Holli was right.
Naming this child has been a spiritual experience but we are still keeping it a secret.
We can't wait to share this baby with everyone and her name...10 more weeks!!

In need of a pause button...

*Before I get into this post I want to thank all who commented on my last post! I am feeling clearer on some things but I think I'm settling down a little. I'm trying to worrying less about the "when the baby comes" and trying to just enjoy pregnancy which brings me to today's topic...

I am almost 30 weeks pregnant...and I can't believe it. 

No. Really. It's just crazy. 

Life since the move feels like a blur. A beautiful, incredible and wonderful blur but, a blur nonetheless. 

I just can't process the amount of time that has gone by. 

I just wish I could press pause and stop time for a little while.

There is so much that I love about this pregnancy and this time in my life but it is just flying by and that makes me kinda sad.

My goal for the next 10 weeks is to slow down (since there is no pause button...darn it.).  I have been so obsessed with what life after baby will be like and I need to shut that down for a while. 

I really love being pregnant. Even with all the unpleasant side effects (ps..there are so many and some that no one ever mentions…just saying) I am happy to be carrying this little person. I love feeling her kick and squirm and get hiccups. It is amazing. 

I still need to prepare for little miss's arrival but I need to reflect a little and take some time to just be pregnant!

Until next time...

Calling All Mommies

Again...there is so much catching up I want to do on this blog (for the journalness of this space mostly, but I also want to share it with you guys) but my mind is stuck on my ever growing belly and as the weeks tick away there is really not much else I think about!

Here is what is weighing on me the most right now:

• Cloth Diapering
• Have any of you cloth diapered?  What brands did you use?  I have done a TON of research and have picked out a few that I want to try {gDiapers and BumGenius} but I'm just curious to know what others are using. We plan to do cloth diapers at home and disposables on the go. Thanks to my cousin Debbie...I have a ton of information already but I am just looking for more opinions. (P.S. If you think that I'm crazy and wish to tell me so...please know that I have already been told.  I may be crazy but we have made a choice to cloth diaper. :-)
• Breastfeeding
• I really want to breastfeed.  {I know some women don't and it is all a matter of personal choice. I'm not pushing anyone to do it...I just want to.} I also really want Will to be involved. He is so into everything "baby" and I love it. He  has even had some really great decorating ideas for the nursery. Anyway, I know that he will really want to have some feeding time and I want him to have it.  So...obviously I will pump but this is cause for even more research! 
• Which pump is really the best? 
• Do we pump and bottle feed exclusively (I know that initially I need to breastfeed but at what point do we introduce the bottle and do I keep breastfeeding while we are using bottles)?
• Bottles? Seriously. Short and squatty, tall and skinny, angled, bottles with the liners.  They all say that they prevent gas and that they are more like breastfeeding but which ones are really better?
• Basically...I have looked into the Medela system. Electric double pump, bottles, nipples and their storage system. Just looking for advice or comments on what any of you have used.

Well...that is basically it. This is what keeps me up at night goggling away! I'm just trying to settle on those 2 things and be as educated as possible before the nugget's arrival. Which is in like 12 weeks. Crazy. I am in my THIRD trimester. I can't believe how fast the weeks are passing.  There is so much we need to do and so little time left! Anyway please feel free to comment about your experiences.  Your thoughts and advise will be appreciated. I know that everything will work out. Everything will be fine...but the biggest change in my life is coming and I just feel the need to be as prepared as possible!

The Good and Bad of Pregnancy

I love...
Food. It tastes so good. I favor pickles, mexican food, Chick Fil A, anything cooked at my Mama and Daddy's house and breakfast!


The Excitement. EVERYONE is so happy about this baby! There is no doubt that she will be loved.


The Kicks. Who knew being sucker punched could be so fun! I love it...even at 2 in the morning!


The Holidays. This has to be the best time to be pregnant. Sure, I'm extra emotional and I tire out faster when I'm out shopping. Thanksgiving dinner...crack to a pregnant woman. Plus, all that time with family!


Naps.  I have never been one to nap. Now...I understand the appeal! Also, no one judges me. Naps and rest are totally encouraged!


Nesting. It may drive Will a little crazy but the hormones combined with being at home have tuned me into an organizational nut case. I love it. Just this morning I completely emptied my email inbox. It felt amazing!


The Attention. Come on...Y'all know me. Don't act surprised. I love to be the favorite and carrying Granddaughter #1 has certainly elevated me a little! 


That Sweet Heartbeat. It's amazing. Every time. I look forward to those monthly (approaching the bi-monthly) appointments.  It never gets old. 


Ultrasounds. I am happy that I don't have to get more (cause that would mean that there were problems) but there is just something so incredible about seeing that life inside you.  Seeing already that she has a personality and maybe even that she has my nose!




I don't love...


Honestly, the lack of sleep and the occasional back pain are not ideal but I can't really complain. 
I wanted this so badly.  
I will take the good with the bad. 
Most of the uncomfortable things mean that everything is happening just like it should.  
So, will be happy that my big belly makes it hard to sleep!
Also, this could be worse. 
I could be on bed rest. 
I could still have morning sickness (which was so very brief).
I could also not be pregnant (my heart goes out to anyone that is longing to be pregnant...it is such a hard road for so many.).


So...here I was about to to list my complaints and as it turns out they should only be one list. 


*Note* I didn't sleep very well and I really was looking forward to venting...funny how the morning light and  little reflection can change our minds.

Baby Story: How we found out!

Back Story: (to get straight to the baby part proceed to the 3rd paragraph)


Anyone that knows me at all probably knows that we were having some trouble getting pregnant. We didn't wait to start trying after we got married (we knew we wanted kids and we knew it wouldn't be easy for us). We tried for a year and then sought some help. I had/have (no cure) endometriosis and polycystic ovaries and a severe case of both.  I had surgery and it turned out that some of the cysts had grown on my tubes and they were blocked.  Luckily my wonderful doctor was able to repair all the damage and was hopeful that we would be pregnant soon. Long story short...we obviously didn't get pregnant.  I did feel good for awhile though. Even lost a little weight and started having regular cycles.  This unfortunately, didn't last long.  I finally listened to my bff and went to who we lovingly refer to as our Witch Doctor. Email me or comment if you would like to know more, I am happy to share and will probably post more about it late. I do credit nutritional response therapy (NRT) for my being able to finally conceive (that and the fact that I believe it happen exactly when it was supposed to as part of God's plan for us, more on that too).


Anyway...I tell you all of this to say that we still didn't get pregnant right away but we expect as much. This healing approach (unlike surgery) isn't a quick fix. It takes time to heal our bodies naturally. I did again, feel better and have regular cycles again. At any rate, by this time summer was nearing and bringing with it our move to Texas. For the first time in 2 years I was too busy and loving life too much to be thinking about why I still wasn't pregnant. We packed up, vacationed, road tripped and had a blast!


Not long after we arrived in Texas we adopted a puppy (thinking...it's just not our time to have a baby). That same week I realized I was late and this made me sad. I didn't think that I was pregnant rather I thought that because I hadn't been following my treatment plan and was relapsing back to having irregular cycles.  On Saturday, July 30th, I took a pregnancy test (first time in a while...which is saying something) and there was a faint second line.  The old me would have jumped for joy and ran off to share the news. The me that took that test just could believe it. I decided to dismiss it and go shopping with my Mama! The next morning, Sunday the 31st, I felt like I should really take another test. This one was brightly positive and it didn't even take the recommended 2 minutes.  We were speaking that morning in church and I just couldn't bring myself to spill the beans just yet!


After church everyone wanted to nap and my mind was running full speed on how I wanted to tell Will.  He was almost asleep when I just couldn't take it anymore.  I went to the bedroom (my old room at my parents, we were still living there while we worked on the house) and asked him if we could talk about what I wanted to do to the bedroom that was across the hall from ours (I was constantly droning on about all the plans I had for our home).  He sleepily agreed to hear my plan.  I started describing how I wanted the room to be arranged with a crib and rocking chair...at first he didn't catch on until I said that we should probably get it done by next spring! We hugged, laughed and cried and it was the most amazing moment that we have shared since we became husband and wife!!