2.23.2012

Pregnancy is hard.

I have been so very blessed during this pregnancy.
I really shouldn't complain.
There are people that have to endure so much worse.
A few check ups ago, my doctor asked if I had any complaints. I said no, just like I told the nurse who checked me in. Just like I do every visit because every symptom I have is a normal part of pregnancy. So why complain.
He sat down (which he never does) and said, "I don't believe that you have gone 32 weeks and can't think of one complaint. Come on girl...give me something.".
{Open Flood Gates}
Well, I can't sleep and my back and hips hurt sometimes.
The easiest tasks are exhausting.
I get out of breath so fast.
I think all of my weight gain is in my boobs...they are so heavy.
{and bring on the tears}
I worry constantly about my baby.
Is she kicking enough?
Will she be healthy?
What if something happens to her?
He laughed and assured me that that is exactly how I should be feeling.
He told me that he wants to know those things and that I don't have to wait for something major to be wrong to complain.
He told me that pregnancy was hard...even a healthy pregnancy like mine comes with heartaches and complaints.
He is right. Just because I have come this far and are complication free doesn't mean I have to suppress my feelings. This has been amazing but it has been and is really hard. I keep telling myself that I shouldn't complain because it is so much harder for other women. And this is what I wanted...so I should only be grateful. Well...I can be grateful and whiny all at the same time.
Lesson for today: Don't compare your life to anyone eles'. Just feel what you feel.


**UPDATE**

This was written a couple of weeks ago and I never published it. No idea why...I just hit "save" and moved on.  Anyway, I do have a complication now. Gestational Diabetes. I know it isn't the end of the world and I am lucky that I only have a few weeks left but its still hard.  I have a strict diet to follow and must check my blood sugar 4 times a day. That isn't the hard part. The hard part is that it was out of my control. I thought I was doing everything I could to keep my baby safe {eating healthy and lots of exercise...way more than before I was pregnant}.  I know that she will be fine and so will I...it was just a hard pill to swallow.  That is all on the subject for now...will report back when this all settles in.


1 comments:

Meagan said...

Kim, I hope you are feeling good- I keep up with your facebook posts so sounds like things are looking up. I can't believe it's almost time:) We can't wait to see this cute little thing:)

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