I obsess

If you know me then you know that I lack patience and that I can be a bit obsessive.  I am kinda what one may call a, er, um...brat.
What do I want? A baby.
What don't I have...you guessed it.
This is the main reason why I haven't blogged.
Its kinda all I think about.  It doesn't really make for fun reading.
No one likes a complainer.
Anyway...
I just knew that after the surgery I would get pregnant right away.  My Doctor was SO positive that we were going to be "parents to be" in no time. Almost 4 months and nothing but problems.

I have been a little depressed lately.  I don't use this word lightly.  Its not a word I throw around when I have had a bad day.  I have been seriously sad over this "not getting pregnant" thing.  Every month I get a little lower.  I hate being this way. This is so not me. I am a happy person. I am fun and people used to enjoy my company.  Now...well I am pretty sure that Will is only person that enjoys my company or rather tolerates my presence.

Anyway, we also just found out that the OB GYN that I have been seeing for 2 years is not in my network.  We will be paying for a significant portion of the surgery. Yay.
So now I am doctorless and lost.  We were supossed to be starting a new treatment plan this cycle but now I guess I have to start over with a new OB GYN but I am moving in 150 days (oh yeah...the count down has begun)! I just want to stay in my apartment until we move and start this all over then.

Ok there it is. This is what is on my mind.

I am super excited about the move but this other mess is dragging me down.  I do not like it.

THE END

I'm so wrong for this...

I don't usually feel this way...I'm a women so I can vent and be crazy once in awhile....right?? Anyway.

Have you ever wanted something??

Then watched EVERYONE you know get it??

Sometimes I feel like some people have it so easy.

Then they don't even seem to appreciate what they have.

Which is probably not even true...Its just my envy talkin'. Why do I feel this way? Why do I get jealous of others happiness? Especially, since I have been so blessed.

OK~ Enough of that. Sometimes I can be such a baby. I am happy and I have so much to be grateful for. I'm impatient. Bottom line. OK. I have built my bridge and I'm over it.

Thank you.